if we go to a restaurant and have to choose between a table or a booth and you say table i will never trust you again
i wonder if anyone has ever peed in the olympic pool
He just shit on your whole life, bitch.
Steve Harvey will be stopping by tonight!
Can u believe there are plants that are illegal
Can you believe there is love that is illegal
can you believe it’s not butter
bro… (kicks you the hacky sack) what do you think it means to exist..
my favourite insults are the ones where you just take a noun and a swear and mash them together. what’s up pisscouch? how you doin’ fucktrain. hope you’re havin’ a swell day, asslamp
Wise words from my mom. (via classicwallflowerpains)